Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The First Time In So Long That I Could Remember Feeling Hope

Here’s another thank you note we received from a client at BCI Georgetown.

It was May 25, 2009, and I was three years into my relapse using all kinds of prescription pain medicine and barbiturates. I had already been to detox, a rehab, tried going back to Alcoholics Anonymous, private counseling, but had no hope. I just could not stop. My family was at the end of their rope with me, I had lost countless jobs, and friends. It was also my mother’s birthday, Memorial Day weekend, and I had a real knack for ruining any kind of family celebration. I had heard of this kind of despair, I had gone to AA when I was a lot younger, and stayed sober for many years. However, like the story goes, my life got better, and I began to put my sobriety on the back burner until my addiction came back and my life became a living hell.

I got a DUI that night and it is a true miracle I didn’t kill anyone. A couple days later in a drug induced stupor, I almost set our house on fire, and my mother put me out for the last time. I had nowhere to go, I checked into a motel and prayed to die. The next morning I woke up, and decided something had to be done, but still had little hope. I talked to a counselor, who convinced me to try another rehab. I really wanted to get sober again but didn’t think it was possible.

The second day I was at the rehab, I met the director, who was a friend of my father’s (he had also gotten sober through Alcoholics Anonymous). She asked me what had happened, and what I wanted to do once I got out. I told her I wanted to go to a halfway house for mothers and children, but didn’t think there were any in Delaware. She told me she wanted to check on something and she would get back to me. To my surprise, the next day she approached me and told me about a program in Georgetown, through Brandywine Counseling that she thought I might qualify for and could really help me and my twin 10 year old girls. I was really excited; it was the first time in so long that I could remember feeling hope.

On June 19, 2009, I left the rehab, and drove with my daughters to Georgetown. I was given an intake at Brandywine Counseling, and advised I could move with my girls into the Level 4 house through their Lighthouse Program. I started attending groups at the Lighthouse 3 days a week, along with group and individual counseling at Brandywine. I also started attending AA and NA meetings in Georgetown. Another girl and her daughter moved into the house from the Lighthouse Program and we became good friends. I got a job, got a sponsor, and started putting my life back together. It has not been easy, my car was repossessed and I have had to pay fines to clear up the damage from my past. Financially, things have been tighter than they have ever been in my life.

In March of this year, thanks to the employment counselors at Brandywine, I was able to enter back into the field of employment of cosmetology, which I love so much. My individual counselor always seems to find the positive in me, which I have a hard time seeing for myself. I have a great relationship with my daughters, and am rebuilding the relationship with my Mom. I have also been able to mend old friendships and made tons of new ones.

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